nicole

this is what livejournal is for

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:28:24 GMT

So, you spend a year or two getting to know someone only to realize, after a year or two, you don't actually like who they are. Did I change? Did you change? Did I love who you were before, but not who you are now? Did we both stay the same, but we became more honest? Did I just get to know you better? How come something we thought would last forever can end only after a year or two?

miss his face

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 06:23:51 GMT

basically how i spent all of winter break.

Get it gurl!

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 09:14:55 GMT

Cadillac Records was, for the most part, disappointing. When I saw the trailer, I doubted that Beyonce should even be playing Etta James, thinking that Jennifer Hudson would of been a better fit. But Beyonce's performance and the tension between her and Adrien Brody in the following scenes (in their tears and glances alone) is almost enough to redeem the entire movie. I can watch these clips repeatedly. I only wish that the movie would have focused just on the relationship between Etta James and Leonard Chess (although it's completely fabricated). But, the history of Chess Records and its artists is amazing and I hope that someone else in the future can do a better job of showcasing it.

And shoot... I definitely have a better idea of what "my type" is now. Tall, dark hair, awkward, unconventionally handsome...

for everything else, there's Mastercard

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:40:04 GMT

I have been trying to get my finances in order; trying to figure out why I have managed to spend all the money I have earned this summer with practically no effort at all. My anxiety over my spending has taken the best of me the past month, has made me angry and worried and overwhelmed.

So I printed out the account history of my checking account and went through every single one of the transactions made during the past three months, figuring out which things were necessary (food, ferry fares, etc.) and which things weren't (books, books, books). In the end, I was relieved and satisfied. Every single dollar was accounted for (more or less); most expenses classified as necessities, and the things that weren't necessarily necessary (those books, books, books) were worth the money anyways. When a good amount of your money is spent on things you can categorize under "family" (paying for dinner occasionally, giving "just because I love you' kind of gifts to my brothers, sister, and mom, helping with unexpected emergencies, redecorating Maria's apartment, etc. -- expenses you can never regret because just being able to help your family is incredibly gratifying), the fact that you are tired and broke doesn't really matter anymore.

Another rewarding part about going through my account history was being able to look back on everything that's happened this summer, starting from yesterday and going back to when I got my first summer paycheck in June. Yes, its a little materialistic and very capitalistic, and although not everything I did this summer cost money and money can't buy me love or friendship, important dates certainly revolved around me spending money, whether it was for dinner or lunch or a new dress.

PURCHASE ON 9/06 AT SAIGON BISTRO SEATTLE, WA $6.28
Before going to Nathan's epic football game against number one ranked Punahou at Qwest field, my family and I went to Uwajimaya for lunch. This was the first complete family outing since my dad returned from being MIA for two years. Even Jan came from Ellensburg. I bought some Pho, even though I just had some at Chung's the day before. Sometimes, I get these wild cravings for Pho but having to pay more than $7 for it here in Silverdale is ridiculous. BUT OH OH OH! THERE IS GOING TO BE A BEARD PAPA'S AT UWAJIMAYA -- HOME TO THE BEST CREAM PUFFS EVAR. JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS WHICH MEANS PUMPKIN SPICE FLAVORED CREAM PUFFS. YUM. Anyways, we were with the Robles family, who we have become really close to these past two summers. They're like family now, and I like that. As expected, CK lost their game 42 to 19, but it was enjoyable anyways. There was a fight on the 1250 ferry, between a grown man and his daughter's boyfriend, which ended up with their entire family shouting at each other. Exciting! We were dangerously close to it and it lasted for a good fifteen minutes, and although we knew we should move out of their way, nobody could stop looking. No enforcement came anyways.

BANKOFAMERICA ATM WITHDRAWAL ON 8/30 AT SEATTLE, WA $30.00
BUMBERSHOOT. Neko Case was mesmerizing and mystical. Thao Nguyen with the Get Down Stay Down was great. PWRFL POWER was cute. Mono in VCF was dreamlike. Band of Horses didn't fail to meet my expectations. But FLATSTOCK was the best part of the day. I was disappointed that we were in a rush to see Mono in VCF and I didn't get to have a second look around at all the posters. Having seen a lot of the prints on FFFFound and Gigposters.com I was amazed to see them irl. I bought two small prints of The Kooks and Kate Nash. They were misprints, so they only cost $5 each. What a deal! Lorraine bought sweet shirts for herself and Jack (We spoil our brothers!). There was a set of posters for The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly that would have been the perfect Christmas present for Jan, but it was sold out! What else did I buy that day? Starbucks to keep warm at night and the worst vegetarian burrito ever. The last band we saw was !!! and Lorraine and I tried reliving our experience seeing Chromeo at the Capitol Hill Block Party and tried to dance our hearts out, but we failed. It just wasn't the same. Probably because Ryan and Arabella weren't there. :(

PURCHASE ON 9/01 HONEY COURT SEAFOOD RES SEATTLE, WA $80.00
It was the weekend before Nathan went back to school and he still hadn't done any shopping for supplies or new clothes. We went to Southcenter to see the new H&M, check out the sale at REI, and to take advantage of Memorial Day sales. It was a bust. H&M was messy and packed with people. REI was already raided and nearly empty. There weren't any good Memorial Day sales. Nathan couldn't find the jacket he wanted at Nordstrom (He later found it at Northgate mall), but my mom fell in love with Gwen Stefani's new line of perfumes, Harajuku Lovers. Maria and I bought her 'Angel' and 'Music' for her birthday. The saleswoman thought our mom was our sister, again. I must buy my mom the other three so her collection is complete, the next time I get paid. Afterward, we went to International District in Seattle for dinner to eat at my favorite Chinese restaurant, Honey Court. We hadn't been here as a family since after Maria's first year of college for one of Jan's graduation dinners. Salt and pepper squid is delicious.

PURCHASE ON 08/22 AT WSFERRIES SEATTLE WA $5.40
So this is only one out of 15+ ferry trips from Seattle that I took this summer, but I can't find any other transactions made on my debit card this day. The day that I spent with Nicole and Arabella. I liked that this day trip required absolutely little to no planning at all. I text Nicole in the morning, only wondering if she still has her APUSH textbook for Nathan. She calls me back, telling me that she doesn't have her book anymore and she's leaving for college the next day. I'm floored. Why did she fail to tell me this a month ago? It works out perfectly though. There's this singer she's been into for the past couple of weeks, who is playing at a house of a secret location at the U District that day and she wants to go. Its perfect because she needs to say goodbye to Arabella too. We catch the 3o'clock ferry. I have a nice and long and much needed talk with Nicole on the ferry. Arabella is actually at the terminal when we arrive, dropping her sister off. We head to U District. Long bus ride gives us a chance to catch up with Arabella. Get there late. House smells like B.O. But everybody seems nice, they make room for us to sit with them on the floor. Madeline's (was that her name?) set is real short though. We leave, explore URBN on the ave. Nicole realizes that she should stock up on clothes before leaving for Massachusetts. When we're walking on the Ave. Nicole claims that the Asian guy we just passed by is PWRFL POWER. Eat Phad Thai at Thai 65 instead of getting bubble tea at Yunnie. Catch the 49 to Capitol Hill. Walk to Half Price Books. Explore the store for an hour or so. (It's way better than Half Price in U District.) Buy A Million Little Pieces for $1. Catch a bus to the ferry terminal. Arabella gets off at Westlake. Nicole and I read the book I bought together while waiting for the ferry. Another nice and long and much needed talk with Nicole. Drop her off at her house. Goodbyes. Hug.

PURCHASE ON 08/14 AT JACK IN THE ELLENSBURG WA $26.05
For some reason, whenever Nathan gets a long break from school and football, he wants to spend it with Jan in Ellensberg. I decided to tag along to drop him off because I hadn't spent any quality time with Jan since the beginning of summer and I still hadn't seen his new house. My mom actually let our dog, P.D., come along. I bought Jack in the Box for dinner one night. It was sweltering hot all weekend, it reached 107 degrees during the day and Jan's air conditioner was broken. P.D. really enjoyed being able to run around in an actual house. We walked him around downtown and he loved it. Jan has a front porch! The kind that you would see in a movie about the South or read about in Their Eyes Were Watching God. No cable + hot hot heat + no computer = excellent time to read (This was the week I bought 5+ books). I attempted to read on the porch when it was cool enough at night, but it was impossible to keep P.D. in the front yard in viewing distance. But, I missed two of Michael Phelps's swims and Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin in the all around. :( Really bonded with Jan and Nathan. Jan introduced me to The Wire. Contemplated staying with Nathan and Jan for the entire week, but had to go back home to work and to watch the Olympics!

PURCHASE ON 8/11 THE GLOBAL BEAN COFFEE SILVERDALE, WA $4.07
Woke up early to have chai and lunch with Garrett. Talked for 3+ hours. Some things and some friends never change. He makes me want to transfer to a different school, to his school, to have crazy drunken nights, to get lost in the ghetto part of D.C., and to intern for the Peace Corps. I'm glad he loves college, but he makes me miss my senior year of high school. We always spend time reminiscing about fourth period.

PURCHASE ON 08/07 AT CROSSROADS TR SEATTLE, WA $25.62
I bought new shoes and a new dress at Crossroads for Darlene's wedding for the following day on 8.08.08! I ended up not wearing the dress I bought, but the shoes were perfect since my only pair of black heels are going to break soon (too much dancing at Neighbours). I forgot how great weddings are. Steve is so obviously in love with Darlene, even after 6 years, something I had never seen between the two of them before. I missed the majority of the Olympics Opening Ceremony though and had to watch it on the internet with German commentary the next day.

PURCHASE ON 07/27 AT JACK IN THE SILVERDALE WA $24.63
Bought Jack In The Box for Arman, Amanda, Jen, Maria, Nathan and I when we slept over at the house they rented in Suquamish for Darlene's bridal shower. The house is beautiful, near the water, a good half hour from downtown Poulsbo. We gathered around a fire outside when we heard noises coming from the woods. It sounded like screaming, heavy breathing, and it seemed to be getting louder. We all screamed, turned off the fire, and ran inside. The entire night we were on edge, scaring ourselves with any kind of noise or movement, afraid to be alone or in the dark. We ended up sleeping all together in the master bedroom. Three of us on the king sized bed and three of us on the floor. We actually believed that we were going to get murdered that night.

BANKOFAMERICA ATM WITHDRAWAL ON 07/26 PIKE STREET SEATTLE WA $30.00
CHRO-ME-OH-OHHH OHHH! Best show evar.

PURCHASE ON 07/19 AT AMC KITSAP 8 Silverdale WA $9.00
MAMMA MIA! with Ryan and Lorraine. It was ridiculous. But ABBA is great anyways! I can't remember if we went back to Ryans house to talk or not. The three of us alone just reminds me of the night of a thousand tears last summer.

BANKOFAMERICA ATM WITHDRAWAL ON 07/12 REDMOND WA $20.00
SubPop20! Really great day of music. Loved loved loved Iron & Wine and Fleet Foxes, duh! See other post. Got free BoostMobile shirts, KEXP stickers and buttons, SupPop Merch, etc. I love free stuff! This was the first and one of the only times that I hung out with the entire Rainbow Rayban crew from last summer + the additions (Nadine & Kevin). Finally bought the Fleet Foxes S/T vinyl that I still haven't found a record frame for. The car ride with Kevin and Chase was a little awkward. I do like sweet and sour sauce over BBQ sauce though. Thanks for asking Kev, sorry to disappoint you Chase.

PURCHASE ON 06/29 AT URBAN OUTFITTER SEATTLE WA $15.26
Went to Pride! with Ryan, Tony, Andrew, and Mike. I love the gays ;) and free stuff and the Obama logo! I bought two new Dunnys. Got one I already have for the first time and now I don't want to buy anymore of the French series. But the 5 series just came out and with GOLDEN TICKETS! :D

PURCHASE ON 06/19 AT RED ROBIN 164 SILVERDALE WA $17.00
This was the first and last time I saw Kristina all summer. Sad. I hate Red Robin. So expensive for crap food, but it never fails to be the perfect place to meet up with high school friends.

PURCHASE ON 06/17 AT WOW SEATTLE WA $4.59
I had bubble tea with Ryan, Eva, and Michelle after the day long design exam. Much needed dessert/pick-me-up after slaving for hours designing logos and airport seating.

Okay, that was ridiculously long. I dwindled in the end though, not only because I can recall very little about the first couple weeks of summer, but because its now past 3am and its been 3 days since I started this post. I've got other things to say and more numbers to crunch, but I will save that for another post, another day.

a list

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:39:58 GMT

Things to do domani

go to work 8am-5pm

call the moore, inquire about fleet foxes tickets

go through old new york times papers at work

buy record frame at urban outfitters

go to bulldog newsstand on the ave or barnes and noble downtown and buy any publication that features michael phelps/beijing olympics

buy fleet foxes tickets

visit arabella?

go to the bank

go back to northgate and buy those shoes?

I believe the list above is actually from two and a half weeks ago. I'm at work now and its the first time I have attempted to post a livejournal entry at the office since then. So, livejournal restored this draft.

How many of those things did I actually accomplish? 8/9. Pretty good. Except, I went to GameStop at Westlake, but did not find Arabella there that day. But, I did try. And also, I went back to Northgate mall, but did not buy those shoes. Bought a comforter set instead. And really, I did all those things in a span of a week and a half, not a day.

Things to do oggi

work until 5pm

find something to eat for lunch and dinner

start and finish post about the summer

work on blog

reply to all those damn facebook posts i've been putting off, especially to Beth

shoot. dang.

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 08:22:31 GMT

A journal entry about the summer is long overdue, but unfortunately this is not it. The month of July was supposed to be summarized in the entry before this, the one of the Block Party photo, but Arabella discovered it before I even got to add text, and half a month later, I have yet to write anything to go with that photo!

Anyways, just writing to say that I bought too many books last week. This is really just for my own personal reference, so don't mind it.

The Stranger by Albert Camus (from Jan)
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff (from Mom)
Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair (for Nathan)
Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates

Also, something near disastrous happened (again) yesterday. But there will be no more crying. After five years of ups and downs, I'm learning to keep my head up. I'm resigned to the fact that these kinds of incidences (near fatal/emotionally draining/hope shattering kind) will always happen to my family. It's our life. We can't seem to shake it (bad luck? God's wrath?). But, dear friends, please don't ask me about this in person. I'm not sure I could bare it.

I went over capacity on registration changes, trying to find another class for Autumn quarter.

In less than five hours, I have to be awake, ready to leave for Seattle to start my week's worth of work. So, goodnight. I'll return in September, probably, with that summer post.

Download Cao Fang's "In Summer", its beautiful. I wish it was longer. Thank you GE!

I miss Michael Phelps.

wherever i go, whatever i do

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:21:24 GMT

peace beneath the city: sp20

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:13:53 GMT

Photo by Brian Tamborello

Out of the three acts I was most looking forward to at SP20 (Fleet Foxes, Iron and Wine, and Flight of the Conchords), I was least excited for Iron and Wine, but in the end, Sam Beam's performance was the most memorable. I forgot how much in love I was with "The Trapeze Swinger" and was elated when he played the first few chords of the song on his guitar and then slowly and soothingly began to sing "please, remember me..." I think heather b. of Three Imaginary Girls says it best when she says that his songs "make you have memories of stuff that didn't happen to you". Well, okay, she doesn't put it in the most profound of words, but I'm definitely familiar with her sentiment. Sam Beam's lyrics definitely have a way of making me reminisce of forgotten loves and a Southern childhood I never had. To finally see him live, completely alone on the stage, with no band, just him and his guitar, was heartbreakingly beautiful, and had he played "Passing Afternoon" I would of started to cry, only imagining to be the woman in the song, pretending to be happy, disappointed but reconciled with the way life turned out to be, desperately missing a man I once loved.

Anyways, some links to help me remember and relive yesterday: SP20 Flickr Photstream, J. Tillman's drum off, The Vaselines's performance of "You Think You're A Man", "Such Great Heights" Sing-a-long, and Bret McKenzie as a choir of women. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SUBPOP!

things i like right now

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 08:34:52 GMT

Richard Paul Lohse Ffffound his painting 1949/1956 a week ago and I can't get enough. I'm not sure why his paintings of lines and blocks of solid colors excite me so much. I could look at them for hours.

New York Magazine's Fashion Blog The Cut This is by far the best collection of blog-esque fashion articles I have ever come across. I spent all of yesterday night reading almost every article from the past month. Its oh so witty and informative and I love love love that the focus of the site is on designers, models, artists and their work and not on celebrities and their misfortunes. And, I wish that I was a New Yorker and could take advantage of all the sales the site promotes daily. Articles from the past month you really shouldn't miss: Adorable Old Men Walk in Yohji Yamamoto’s Show, Video: Jack Huston in Spring 2009 Yves Saint Laurent, When British Ladies Go to the Races, It's Their Hats That Are Competing, Marc’s New Ads: Dude Looks Like a Lady!, Fashion Likes to Do Drawings, Racy ‘Summer Camp’ Spread With Kate, Daria, and Lara in ‘W’, Video: Charlie Rose Really Wants Marc Jacobs to Talk About Himself, Galliano, Lagerfeld, Westwood, and More in U.K. ‘Esquire’, Yves Saint Laurent's Greatest Moments, Fashion Remembers Yves Saint Laurent (Updated).

Chuck Anderson I have seriously been looking for this artist's website for the past three years. He and Mike Perry were my favorite graphic artists when I was in junior high, and somewhere between reformatting and switching computers I had lost Anderson's website URL. But I refound his website just yesterday, then today, Tony shows me Anderson's Godlike piece that is for sale at Urban Outfitters for $60. Those rainbow streaks of light are unforgettable. I am seriously considering buying one of his cheaper works for the apartment next year, or just printing a small copy of one.

Barack Obama '08 Logo Not quite a big fan of him yet, but I really like his logo, especially this rainbow version for Pride. Its simple, versatile, recognizable, and refreshing. If we decided presidential races based on aesthetics of campaign promotional material, hands down, Barack Obama would win.

Peroni Nastro Azzurro ad campaign, an homage to Federica Fellini's La Dolce Vita. Marcello! Marcello! Oh man! Talk about an advertising campaign that works! If anything, the beauty and elegance of this commercial will make me start drinking alcohol -- just Peronis of course and some Coppola wines, because I do have class after all. HA. Anyways, Jan showed this to me a couple weeks ago, though I think it might be a couple years old. I have yet to see La Dolce Vita, but I hear it's beautiful, both from my brother and my Italian 103 professor, and only wish that I could fully appreciate the advertisement with its references and imitations. Its just another movie to add to my long list of movies to watch before I die. AND AND AND, the commercial is nothing without the song. The Sapphires cover The Shirelles' "Baby It's You"

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button I can't remember the last time I was so excited for a movie! You must watch the trailer and if you have 15-20 minutes, read the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald the movie was based on, here. The movie, from what I've seen on the trailer, doesn't really seem to follow the Fitzgerald's story, but its definitely worth the read.

Architecture for Humanity Watched an inspiring and encouraging special on Architecture for Humanity on Frontline/World with my father. You can watch it online here. This special and that last lecture in ARCH 251 about Le Corbusier, makes me still want to be an architect and be involved with this organization. DESIGN LIKE YOU GIVE A DAMN.

Macbook Air Commercial Remixed Confession: I'm not the biggest fan of remixes or mash ups and really, very rarely like covers, unless they're tributes or for soundtracks and/or commercials. So naturally, I am not a huge fan of Girl Talk. BUT this video along with this remix is brilliant and although this remix of Yael Naim's "New Soul" is a very small part of Girl Talk's "No Pause", it definitely makes me want to give Girl Talk a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth ... chance.

By the way dear readers, I got into the design program. Goodbye for now.

0708

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 08:02:35 GMT

One of my first weekends at college. Shopping for group Halloween costumes was a complete failure. Also the night of some crazy UW event, homecoming weekend maybe? Lorraine and Nadine were offered free tickets to a dance show at Meany, got free food and energy drinks, HUB crawl, met MAndrew for the first time, ultimate frisbee in the Quad.

'Drawing Music'. Best day in Art 120, ever. Even better than the Scott Lawrimore, Leo S. Berk, and Diem Chau lectures.

Awh, Noah... I wish I appreciated you more way back when you were still my TA. You and your Carhartt overalls, your cement castings of children's toys, your ridiculous hats, and your lack of organization. But looking back on it now, I appreciate your quirkiness, your faith in my abilities, your love for jazz music, and the fact that you still remember who I am.

Secret Santa. Completely devastated when I got a Bonsai tree from Ryan. But elated when I got my real gift, Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree. Had never read this book as a child. Read it out loud to the group in the cafe. We must have been terribly annoying that night, with our friendship, happiness and holiday cheer.

Italiano centuno. Patrick, Patrick, Patrick... I loved you for so long, but you were definitely a waste of my time and energy. Ciao forever! I will no longer formulate whole conversations, in Italian or in French or in English, in my head, between you and I, desperately hoping to impress you. AND, why the hell did you ever leave Lugano?

Gasworks with Nadine, Ryan, Kevin, a frisbee, and a camera. Made me realize what I had been missing out on all quarter and made me look forward to bright and sunny days in the Spring.

These are the only photos from Winter quarter. The last day of Winter quarter. The only good day of Winter quarter. Wait, I take that back, every Grilled Cheese Tuesday with the FIG was magic, watching Dexter with Dara was thrilling, Italian 102 with Cecilia was inspiring, becoming real friends with Jenna and Beth was priceless, being alone in the art room for hours was calming, laying on Lorraine's floor listening to music was a dream, dancing at Neighbours until 4am every other weekend was ridiculous...

A well deserved and much needed spring break back home.

Beginning of April: Agua Verde, daisy chains, Fremont, and downtown with the girls.

The hottest day on the planet.

Concerts Galore! Friday, April 18: Fleet Foxes, Blitzen Trapper (Fell in love with Fleet Foxes.) Saturday, April 19: Handsome Furs, The Teenagers (Ahahahahaha. What could of been a Tetris high score.) Resurrected our friendship with Chase. Saw Arabella, Nicole, and Matt for the first time in forever!

End of April: Quality girl time with Nadine.

Friendship perfection with Chase. Dinner family style with friends = true friendship. Singing "Paper Planes" with Ryan. Goodnight group hug. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. LOVE LOVE LOVE and HAPPINESS. It was perfect. We laughed endlessly. I am in love with (and deeply admire) each and everyone one of you and I really wouldn't mind if we were (and desperately wish we will be) friends forever.

Relay for life: Intensely emotional.

Memorial Day Weekend: Folklife times two. Really really love old and new friends. Finally started to feel like there was some sort of balance in life.

so this is it.

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 09:44:38 GMT

I didn't get into the design program. I'll pretend I won't care that much, but really, how could I not care when I put so much of myself (and money and time) into it. And up until now I still held on to the idea of getting a 3.7. So, this is it for design. I am going to commit to architecture and immerse myself in whatever that entails. Not just going to get my feet wet, but completely drown in it. I'll lose a lot of sleep, but if I can be a small fraction as innovative and inspiring as Le Corbusier, in the end, it will be worth it. But if in a year, if I have become uninspired and worn out by architecture, I'll try design again and hopefully, there's some improvement in my compositional skills and some change in my ambition.

finally getting married!

Tue, 20 May 2008 09:19:54 GMT

I'm going to press the pause button on my personal life to show how fabulous these photos are of my favorite on again, off again, on again while she has a new boyfriend, off again, trust issues, gets married/has relationships with new people, has affair while he's newly married and she's back with aforementioned boyfriend she cheated on before, more commitment issues, on again, off again, have sex here and there, some odd boyfriends, crappy boyfriend and a post it note (man, he was so pathetic), he moves to a vineyard in California, she has sex with abusive, old, wrinkly Russian artist who lives in Paris, moves to Paris, realizes he's abusive, old, and wrinkly, finds true live in each other in Paris, return to New York together, and now getting married and premiering in a major motion picture this summer couple, ever.

Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big
Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Noth
Vogue USA June 2008
By Annie Leibovitz

The entire spread is oh so beautiful and must be bought by me. If those photos, her dresses, his suits, that city, and Chris Noth don't epitomize love and sex and New York City fabulous-ness, I don't know what does.

this is heaven on earth. it is this. it is this. it is this.

Tue, 13 May 2008 21:28:34 GMT

After a year of college, my future hasn't become any clearer nor have I found that perfect (or 80% of perfect) man to be the father of my children. Starting to think that college isn't about finding who you are, meeting a husband, or gaining insight to the universe's secrets, contrary to popular belief and dreams I've held since infancy. So for now, I'll have to settle with taking classes that consume much of my time, energy, and soul, but are only semi-interesting, mildly difficult, and never life changing.

a swell season

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 20:27:35 GMT

Sit Down & Shut Up by Noah Grussgott, 2005

I have been trying to write this post about how glorious Spring quarter has been to me, I started it on the 26th of April and never got around to finishing it. It was going to come complete with photos of days at Gasworks, Greenlake, and downtown Seattle, trying to capture movement and soaking up the sun. I was so happy then. So satisfied with the way life and college was going. Thoroughly grateful for the friendships I was creating and the experiences I was going through. But now I'm in a different place, worn out by school and design and my own personal and painful revelations.

The picture above was going to introduce the entry. The week that I started writing this post was the week I ran into Noah Grussgott, my Art T.A. from Fall quarter, a budding sculptor who escaped his family and past life in New York, hoping to get inspiration from a change of location, a Graduate Student in UW's Sculpture program. I was going to write about how good it felt that he recognized me at the restaurant and how he punched me jokingly like I was an old friend, and had given me a postcard invitation to his thesis exhibition and how I should of been nicer to him, should of taken the time to talk to him when he tried talking to me, how surprised, happy, and flattered I was when he told me to go major in art because he liked my ideas. But, I ended up not going to this opening reception because a group of my friends failed to call me -- another blow added on to the string of disappointments from the past week.

And now I'm tired. Just as tired as I was Winter quarter, exhausted by the amount of effort I put into school, especially in design and art, and how little I get out of it. I need a change of pace and environment.

I'm surprised and disgusted about how swiftly my mood changes. I wish it wasn't that way. I wish I could be happy for more than a month.

what a life i lead in the spring

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:30:29 GMT

The past few weeks have been good to me. Thank you, World, for reminding me of all the things I've been missing and helping me to find some sort of balance. Imma get me some of these bad boys, except I'm broke so it'll have to wait a month or so. Fleet Foxes was incredible. I won't be able to listen to anything else for a while. This shirt that I'm wearing from the concert is amazing. Perfect size, really loose just the way I like it. I could eat, sleep, and run in it. Don't care too much for the design though and in the dark at Neumos, I thought it was green but really its a peppered gray. Still, well worth $15 and having to live frugally for this week until I get paid again. And Culkin cousin guitarist was a hotT and so was the lead singer under all that hair, the lead singer of Blitzen Trapper on the other hand, resembled the baby of Bob Dylan and The Ice Truck Killer, which actually, I guess, is hot too.

Laying out in the sun, watching children run around us, and talking about menstruation and boys with Nadine was nice. Real nice.

I'm having my first peanut butter and banana sandwich in years, not that great. I couldn't remember if I liked crunchy/chunky or creamy peanut butter. And I guess I really don't like bananas that much. I can't believe I'm wasting calories on this sandwich.

Going to go out one more time tomorrow to try to capture movement with Nadine's camera. (Thank you! And I'm sorry!) I'm excited about Project 2 in design, not really because I like the topic so much, but because photography is exhausting.

Two more chapters of music to go and I'm two and a half days behind on Architecture reading. Italian is boring. How to be Karen Cheng 101 is okay. Friends are good. My love life (with God) -- I guess we're on a break since Lent. My love life (with anyone in the flesh) is still nonexistent and I like it that way.

Abcfamily.com won't let me stream the latest Greek episode because it says that it doesn't allow people living outside of the U.S. to stream their videos. Racist.

dukkha

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 05:07:58 GMT

And on top of all those things I'm lusting, I owe people moneyz and gots to pay some bills, bills, bills. How did I get in this position? Desire leads to suffering. I need to prioritize or meditate.

spring, so far

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 08:30:34 GMT

So far, the past two weeks of school have been considerably better than all of Winter Quarter. / Been listening to "Naive" by the Kooks, because of Kelsey. Not even that good though, but I don't know what else to listen to repeatedly. / Been listening to a lot of John Mayer, just as much as I used to in junior high, hoping to get back whatever I lost. / Trying to deal with something emotionally, but I'm unable to cry. There are no more tears left in me. / Waiting on Ryan to call back. / I'm having fun, but still feeling like I'm faking my emotions. / Greek and Dexter are so good. / I've been so incredibly insecure lately. My insecurities are taking over me. They haunt me in the day when I'm around anyone and at night when I'm left alone with my thoughts. / I like taking photographs. Thanks Nadine, for the camera. I'm tired of trying to capture movement. / Haven't been home in a couple of weeks. Won't go home until the end of the month. I miss my dog and my mom and my brother and my sister. / I've been spending a lot of money lately. Its got to stop. / Vietnam? Philippines? Summer school? / What's with everyone's fascination with the Dalai Lama? / Today felt like summer, but I still didn't want to take my sweater off. / Ryan, call me back. / Classes are only mildly interesting. / Something's missing.

toulumne

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 07:05:51 GMT

Suddenly I realize that I don't like the direction my life is going.

Today, I was reminded of what happiness and freedom felt like.

Maybe I just need to stop complaining. I spend most of my valuable time loathing life, instead of living.

College isn't supposed to be easy though. It's meant to be hard. But I didn't expect that it would wear me down so easily.

I'm tired.

I want to help people. How does design or architecture do that?

I'm lost again. Now what?

I feel like dancing.

Why worry about the future if I can't figure things out in the present?

I wish I could just do what made me happy.

dio mio!

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 19:32:05 GMT

Today is too beautiful. But I'm stuck inside of a mobile, with the Memphis blues again (i.e. homework).

It really is just the weather

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 08:53:44 GMT

The past two days have given me an inkling of what spring in college will be like, and I loved it. Yesterday in art, we sat on the ground and drew the landscape. It was nice. But I'm still being an angry little Asian girl, frustrated with people, classes, and the way life is going. Maybe the sun can change all that.

Is it the weather?

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 08:54:20 GMT

I feel that I'm not who I was going to be five years ago. I feel that everyone has taken away any good part of me. I feel uninterested and uninteresting. Am I depressed? Is it the weather? I went back to my old entries on livejournal and I was happier in the past and more creative. I don't know what happened to me.

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 09:57:18 GMT

i hate art. i hate drawing.

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 11:35:25 GMT

merry christmas, everyone

explore

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 23:08:35 GMT

France: Surrealist Paris
France: Representing Race at Cultural Sites: Paris in the 21st Century
Israel: Unveiling Dynamics in Israel: History, Politics, Law & Technology
Rome, Italy: Immigration, Education & Identity in Italy
Italy: Tuscany: A Creative Journey
Japan, South Korea: Tokyo + Seoul: City, Streets and Hybrid Urbanism

I've narrowed down the study abroad programs that I want to apply for. I'll probably apply for all of them, but each involve writing an essay on why I want to go to these places and participate in the program and I don't know if I have much to say about any of these places, except that I want to speak French in France and Italian in Italy. All of them certainly have the potential of changing my life though. And, at least for now, these month long summer programs are the only ones I'm even thinking about going on because I can't see myself being away from home for any longer than that.

ciao autunno!

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 09:32:01 GMT

Waking up early tomorrow to go to work, and not to Italian is going to be the most painful realization. This quarter ended too soon. I'm going to miss it.